How often should I be going?
There is no right answer — anything from three times a day to three times a week is normal. What matters is a change from your own pattern, whether the stool is hard, and whether you have to strain. Chasing someone else's normal is not a useful goal.
What is the single most useful thing I can do?
Change how you sit. Put a small footstool under your feet so your knees are above your hips, lean forward with your elbows on your knees, and let your abdomen relax. This straightens a bend in the rectum that stays partly closed when you sit upright on a modern toilet. It is free, it works straight away, and hardly anyone is told about it.
Why isn't my macrogol working?
Almost always because it is being taken in too little water. Each sachet must be mixed with the full volume stated — and all of it drunk. Taken in a splash, it draws water out of the body and makes constipation worse. This one detail decides whether the treatment works.
Will I become dependent on laxatives?
This worry causes more harm than the laxatives do. Osmotic laxatives like macrogol are safe long term, and for many people continuing is the right choice. The real damage comes from years of straining — piles, fissures, prolapse. Long-term daily stimulant laxatives are worth reviewing, but nobody should be suffering to avoid a sachet.
Could my painkillers be causing it?
Very likely. Codeine and co-codamol are opioids, and many people do not realise it. Opioid constipation does not wear off with time, which is why a laxative should be started at the same time as the painkiller rather than added later. Worth reviewing whether you still need the painkiller at all.
My child is soiling their pants. Are they doing it on purpose?
Almost certainly not. Soiling in a constipated child is overflow — liquid stool leaking past a hard mass, entirely outside their control. Telling a child off for it is both unfair and counterproductive. It needs a proper disimpaction course followed by months of maintenance treatment, and under-treatment is the usual reason it drags on.
I have to press to get it out. Is that normal?
No, and it is worth raising specifically. Needing to press around the anus or into the vagina suggests pelvic floor dysfunction — the muscles tightening rather than relaxing when you try to go. Laxatives do not fix this; specialist pelvic floor physiotherapy does, and it is regularly missed for years.