Is this just what happens after having children?
It is common after childbirth, but it is not something you have to accept. Pelvic floor training resolves or substantially improves it for most women.
The average wait before mentioning it is several years, which is the real problem.
Am I doing pelvic floor exercises correctly?
Quite possibly not — a substantial proportion of people are not. The commonest error is bearing down instead of lifting, which makes things worse.
This is exactly why NICE recommends supervised training, and why a physiotherapist checking your technique is worth more than any amount of doing it alone.
How long before it works?
At least three months of consistent daily training. Improvement is gradual and easy to miss without a diary.
Most people stop far too early.
What is the knack?
Deliberately squeezing your pelvic floor immediately before you cough, sneeze, laugh or lift.
It works straight away, costs nothing, and is very rarely taught.
Should I drink less?
No. Concentrated urine irritates the bladder and makes things worse.
Drink normally, cut caffeine, and stop a few hours before bed if nights are the issue.
Do I have to give up running?
No, and please do not. Leaking with high-impact exercise is common and treatable.
Pelvic floor training plus the knack resolves it for most people — giving up the activity is the wrong trade.
Would HRT help?
Vaginal oestrogen can help urinary symptoms after the menopause. It acts locally, is different from systemic HRT, and carries none of the same risks.
It is significantly under-prescribed.
What about surgery and mesh?
Surgery is effective for stress incontinence that has not responded to proper conservative treatment.
Transvaginal mesh use has been substantially restricted in England following a national safety review, and alternatives exist. Any decision should follow a full discussion in a specialist setting.
Is it different for men?
Yes. Male stress incontinence is most often related to prostate surgery, and pelvic floor rehabilitation is effective and frequently not arranged.
Dribbling with a poor stream is a different problem — usually prostate enlargement, which is assessed separately.