How long have I had it?
Frequently impossible to say, and this matters for relationships. The virus can lie dormant for years before producing a first episode, and most people who carry it never had recognisable symptoms. A new diagnosis is not evidence about when or from whom it was acquired, and assumptions to the contrary have caused a great deal of unnecessary damage.
Should I have a blood test?
Generally no. Herpes antibody blood tests show past exposure but cannot tell you where on the body the virus is, cannot date the infection, and are positive in much of the population from childhood oral infection. They generate anxiety without useful information. The meaningful test is a swab of an actual lesion, taken while it is there.
Can I still have children?
Yes. Genital herpes does not affect fertility in men or women. What matters is telling your midwife, because the management of a first episode late in pregnancy differs considerably from that of recurrent herpes — which is usually low risk and compatible with a normal vaginal birth.
Does it cause cancer?
No. That association belongs to HPV, a completely different virus, and the confusion between the two causes needless fear. Herpes does not cause cervical or any other cancer.
Will I have outbreaks forever?
The virus stays, but outbreaks typically become less frequent and milder over time, and many people find they largely stop after the first couple of years. Type 1 genital herpes recurs less often than type 2, which is why typing the virus is worth doing.
Can I pass it on with no symptoms?
Yes — asymptomatic shedding is how most transmission happens, and it is the reason nobody should be blamed. What reduces the risk meaningfully is avoiding sex during outbreaks, using condoms, and taking daily suppressive antiviral treatment, which lowers transmission substantially.
Do I have to tell a new partner?
There is no legal requirement. Most people find it easier to be honest, and the conversation is generally less difficult than anticipated once the facts are on the table — it is common, most carriers are unaware, and transmission risk can be considerably reduced. Sexual health clinics can help you think it through.
Could I have caught it from a toilet seat?
No. The virus does not survive on surfaces, and it is not transmitted by toilet seats, towels, swimming pools or shared baths. It requires direct skin-to-skin contact.