How long is normal?
Shorter than most people think, and highly variable. Duration is not the criterion — distress is. If neither you nor your partner is troubled, there is nothing to treat, regardless of the clock. Expectations shaped by pornography bear no relation to typical experience, and some men seeking treatment turn out to have no clinical problem at all.
Why has it started happening now?
Acquired premature ejaculation usually has a cause worth finding. The commonest is early erectile difficulty — unconsciously rushing to finish before losing the erection. Others include an overactive thyroid, prostatitis, stopping an antidepressant, relationship change and anxiety. A change from your norm always deserves investigating.
Could it be my erection rather than my timing?
Very possibly, and it is the most useful question here. If erections are less firm or less reliable than before, treating that frequently resolves the speed on its own. It also matters beyond the bedroom — erectile dysfunction is often an early cardiovascular warning, which is why it is worth mentioning rather than focusing only on timing.
Do the sprays work?
Yes, when used correctly — and the technique matters. Apply 10 to 15 minutes beforehand and then wash it off or use a condom, or it transfers and numbs your partner. That is the commonest reason couples give up on them. Too much also dulls sensation enough to affect the erection.
Are the antidepressants a long-term thing?
Not necessarily. Dapoxetine is taken only before sex rather than daily. Daily SSRIs are used off-label and effectively, and many men use them for a period while learning the behavioural techniques, then stop. It is a reasonable plan to discuss rather than an indefinite commitment.
Do the behavioural techniques actually work?
Yes, with good evidence — but they need weeks of practice rather than one attempt, and they work best learned alone before involving a partner. Most men who conclude they do not work tried them twice during sex while anxious. Pelvic floor exercises also help and are almost never suggested.
Is it caused by masturbating too much?
No. This is a persistent belief with no support behind it, and it causes a good deal of unnecessary guilt. Lifelong premature ejaculation is largely neurobiological, and acquired cases have identifiable causes elsewhere.
Should I tell my partner?
Almost always, yes. Partners frequently interpret rapid ejaculation, or the avoidance that follows, as loss of interest — and that misunderstanding damages relationships more than the difficulty does. Involving them also makes the behavioural techniques considerably more effective.